Tuesday, March 27, 2012

The Surest Route to the Lake of Fire

Four or five times a month a pastor or Christian rock musician urges the congregation to come forward at the altar call to accept Jesus using the following prod: "because any of you could hit tomorrow by a city bus and wake up in the Lake of Fire."  It's striking how widespread this religious meme is, and also striking that the Lake of Fire is never reached via death by schoolbus, charter bus, or the occasional taxi. 

The poor bastard sitting next to me one night confided his relief at discovering that he didn't have to kneel at every altar call.  "I thought I wouldn't be saved so I was going up there every night.  Then my friend told me once you accept Jesus sincerely, you're saved forever!"

"Apparently that's how works," I said.

"How many times have you gone up?"

"I've never gone up."

"You don't want Jesus, brother?"

"Not really.  I like the water into wine thing he did, and what he said about charity."

He looked as if he had something more to say, but he turned his head and stared grimly at the front of the chapel.  Nothing was said that night about city buses smacking souls into hell.

No comments:

Post a Comment